Introducing d*ck pics and our first MEHta snapshot

As Easha is quite busy at the moment, you lovelies and I will have another Single-Scribble. Let me seize the opportunity to introduce you to our new rubric here at GGGG:

D*ck pics!
Gwenches like us love to see d*ck pics online – and by that we obviously mean deck pics. Thus we proudly present the Glittering Girly Gwent Gaming MEHta snapshot! Do not confuse it with meta snapshots where you will learn about the most viable decks of the current patch. Our decks are pretty meh instead. In fact they are not even multiple decks but just this one.

You can click the card names to see their premium versions.
All card art and premiums were taken from The Voice of Gwent.


The leader

We are choosing Mystic Echo as our leader ability which used to be the ability of Francesca Findabair before the introduction of leader skins. Writing of those: You absolutely have to choose Francesca as leader skin. Why? Because her iconic MEH!-sound lead to the name of our snapshot. Pay attention when choosing her as a leader for your deck or in the pre-battle screen: Sometimes you can hear her MEH there.

The dryads

The VIPs of our deck and definitely more than just “naked women”! Remember the words of Sirssa: “All males are your foe!” – At least the ones who only see that one aspect of dryad cards. Those can still rub the deck’s Stratagem until a Djinn pops out. Real Gwentlemen know there is much more to them, for example the hummingbird at the Dryad Grovekeeper card: It is so lively! It seems also like it would live in close symbiosis with the flower it feeds on. If the bird sits inside the flower it looks almost as if it were part of it. I also do want to have that glowing flower as a lamp in my bedroom. Such a nice colour and likely a sweet scent as well.

Writing of colour: Having all those dryads in one deck really shows the variance in skin colour. They are not just green, but there are many different shades. Maybe it is just like with human skin, the more light it is usually exposed to, the darker the skin. Or maybe younger dryads have lighter skin and it darkens the older they get? And how does Braenn fit into the picture, as she does not have green skin at all? She was not born as a dryad, but created by drinking the Water of Brokilon (Check the flavour text of the special card.). And no – She was neither duplicated as two Braenn Fledgelings, nor does “create” mean she was chosen out of three.
But ultimately it comes down to the author of the Witcher books. Andrzej Sapkowski stated in an interview to a Polish newspaper this February: “In my books, as far as I remember, skin colour is not precisely mentioned, and so people who adapt are free to decide, anything is possible and acceptable. In the comic, my blonde Zerrikanians became dark-haired because the artist had artistic freedom.”

Click for import link

The mascots

If you still have not given up playing this deck, you might need some emotional support. That’s what the mascots are for. The first one is our GGGG Unicorn. Make sure to get two halves of the crown so you can dress it properly as shown at the top and bottom of our blog.

We already wrote about Knickers in our Iron Judgment blog post, and of course the “goodest boi” needs to be a mascot as well. To write something about gameplay for a change: he is the only unit with armour, so you can add a whopping Vitality 1 to him with your Dryad Enchantresses. I wonder where this one armour comes from, though. Maybe from the Nilfgaardian helmet he uses as a bowl. He would probably look quite cute wearing it and I am sure with some enchantments it might even fit.

While we are at the topic of dogs, the final mascot is Iris’ Companions. Of course I need Easha in the deck as well, even though this is a Single Scribble. The dog at this card does not seem too happy, Easha was probably mobbing him. That poor doggo. Anyway, please do not tell Easha I called her a mascot.

The drinks

If you are really trying to make this deck work against better judgement, you might need them after a few matches. As I am not sure which you prefer, I put Mahakam Ale and the noble Sangreal wine into the deck for you – whatever you prefer. You could also drink Water of Brokilon. Unlike the alcoholic beverages, those will really let you forget your worries forever – without a terrible hangover on the next day. You might look quite different with green skin, though. Green skin from the Waters or red noses/cheeks from ale and wine – pick your poison. Dryad Ranger and Forest Whisperer provide plenty of it. If you drank too much alcohol, you might see the world moving around you – not only the Dryad Matron moving across your board.

And if you are really, really desperate you can always take a second round of drinks using your leader ability. But for your own safety: Don’t drink and drive (the ape-men into the sea)!


The provisions

Plot twist: The deck is actually the strongest out there.
Do you see the 8 leftover provisions? Let me tell you a trick: Flip that 8 to the side and you will get an infinity symbol – and thus infinite provisions! Now go and add all the expensive gold cards to your deck, this might even make this pile of cards playable. I leave it to you to figure out a way to convince the deck builder to let you leave with your imbalanced deck. I am sure you will manage. And if you do – please do tell me how! Thank you in advance and happy Gwenting, lovelies!

3 Responses

    1. And neither did we want your credit card data for the former, nor rainbows for the latter ; ) Thank you very much for your praise, Tessa!

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